George Simon: Making an Ass out of U and Me
George Simon • June 23rd, 2025 4:09 PM
Just when you think you've seen it all, something will happen that leaves you flummoxed.
I've been doing this race calling caper for, let's just say, a long time now but I saw something at Tauranga on Saturday I've never seen before.
Brazilian born jockey Bruno Queiroz earned the admiration of everyone watching the Seeka Kiwifruit Cup after his ride aboard the runner up, Gallant Hero.
As the field left the straight with a round to go, Gallant Hero's saddle slipped forward, leaving Queiroz in an unenviable position.
The 23-year-old rider, on one of his first forays to the Northern area, had to think quickly to avert possible dangerous consequences.
With the saddle slipping forward, Queiroz had very little control of his mount.
To alleviate this, he kicked both feet out of the stirrup irons and for the length of the back straight rode like John Wayne, sitting bolt upright like in those old western movies.
I've seen this done numerous times over the years by many jockeys placed in a similar predicament.
But it's what Queiroz did whilst riding with both feet out of the stirrup irons that took his actions into a different stratosphere.
When calling the race, I could see he was in difficulty and I naturally assumed he would ride like that, bolt upright a la John Wayne, for the remainder of the race.
I also assumed, naturally, that Gallant Hero's chance was kaput.
My mentor Keith Haub always told me not to assume anything in this game.
It only makes an ASS out of U and ME he would often say.
Obviously, I'm a terrible student because off I went making assumptions left right and centre.
Unbeknownst to virtually everyone watching was what Queiroz was doing as the field thundered down the back stretch.
He was maneuvering the saddle, which had slipped forward, back into its rightful position.
Which is a lot harder to do than it sounds, especially when you consider the speed they were going at and the fact that he had to maintain his balance simultaneously without his feet in the stirrup irons.
Oh, and the small matter of keeping himself and his fellow riders safe as well.
As the field approached the 600m I was staggered to see Queiroz perched up in his usual riding position, both feet back in the stirrup irons as if nothing had happened.
Remarkably, he had worked the saddle back into position whereby he could get both feet back into the irons.
Turning into the home straight it momentarily looked as if Gallant Hero was going to win as it strode to the lead, only to be run down late by the eventual winner Whata Charmer ridden by promising apprentice rider Ashley Strawbridge.
As the god son of legendary fellow Brazilian jockey Joao Moreira, you could argue that ability runs in the genes.
In the short time he has been riding in NZ, Queiroz has earned plaudits from numerous quarters regarding his poise and skill in the pig skin.
I reckon he got more fans at Tauranga on Saturday.
